This is one very weird new world I’ve found myself in.
A world where, while everything around me has stayed the same, I’m simply not the same person you saw a week ago.
I’ve aged. My skin is grey and I have black bags under my eyes. I’m suddenly weirdly thin and gaunt looking, and I’m really not the thin and gaunt type. My face and torso are covered in tiny, angry looking pustules. My hands shake and I’m hunched, because my back and chest just won’t stop aching.
Last night, I was admitted to hospital, because I suddenly got a fever that raged up past 38 degrees and then up past 39 as well. I should’ve seen it coming when I climbed a flight of stairs and felt like I was going to be sick when I couldn’t catch my breath.
I was slow to react because I simply couldn’t believe that a healthy 30 year-old could turn into a frail old lady in a week.
Thankfully, I was out of the hospital a bit before midnight. After a whole lot of blood tests, a urine sample and a chest x-ray, the hospital decided that I wasn’t in complete immune collapse and that it was probably a passing virus that had just decided to pop by to say hi.
Apparently the Australian government won’t let me get a white-cell booster shot to perk up my immune system until I prove my immune system is compromised. I’m hoping this is proof enough?
I’m really hoping things will pick up soon. Maybe I’ll meet the Scarecrow, or the Tin Man, or the Mayor of Munchkin City might give me the key to the city or something. I’d like to think that eventually Chemo World might feel a little more like Normal World, even just for a few weeks here and there.
Thanks again for all the lovely emails and comments. I think this post might explain my lack of personal responses to all you lovely people. Be assured that it’s wonderful knowing you’re out there.